I no longer have time to blog. I am too busy moving on with life, which is a good thing, and I still don't have home internet access, which is a bummer. But most of all, life has taken an unexpected twist and I think it's time for me to leave blogging aside.
Now that I have a counselor and am building at least one solid real-life friendship, I don't feel the need to air out all my grief and anger online. Plus I will be taking a free college course this fall for underemployed people/single moms/etc., and I expect life will be jumpstarted from there. Both my counselor and my friend, who is also a counselor, tell me that as soon as the college sees what I'm capable of they are going to move heaven and earth to get me enrolled. I can't go to college until I am independent of my family, since they are not supportive of that. But I am going to as soon as possible. I plan to have my own car by next summer, and I will learn Spanish, and once I get daycare and a good job, I will find someone to do the Section 8 for me and then enroll in college. That's the only way I will ever get on my own feet, and there is no way I am going to keep rolling around in the muck down here just because someone else thinks the opportunities shouldn't be there.
Besides, both of my parents went to college and had a good education, and I don't want to hear about how I shouldn't because of blah blah religious ethical blah blah. I'm sick of being held back.
And I'm angry that I wasted 16 years on a relationship I now realize never had a chance. But that's another story. I am happy to have my children, and happy for him that he is finally moving forward and making real progress towards healing. I hope he can maintain it beyond the euphoric period. I hope he can still be a healthy parent in the future. Hope, hope, hope.
I may post here and there as time goes on, and I expect eventually I will pick up this blog again with an actual angle. But for now, I'll see ya when I see ya! :D